Savoring Lately

Serotonin over dopamine.

The median outfit you will see on me. This is home.

If the internet belongs to the dopamine creators, I have no business posting outfits online. Thankfully, we the personal style bloggers live in our own heads, in our own ecosystems and savor the feel good chemical - serotonin over constantly chasing dopamine.

Is Dog Mom Style a thing ? I wear chunky soles and some gorpcore for urban hikes with my pup. Any time I go to her dog park without an outer layer, I come back covered in drool and paw prints gifted by her dog friends. First axiom of dog mom style : Spot clean and ironing noble materials is less fun than wearing outerwear that looks good as it gets beat up.

Oxfords got worn “just” because I don’t want to own stuff that I haven’t worn in the year. Flats, oxfords, sandals, boots and loafers have to battle for their spot on my feet. Sneakers have won the war.

There will always be “before Japan”, when I would have found these pants sloppy. There is “after Japan”, where I find them “above the silly subjective beauty norms I held on to as objective truths”. Sexy and flattering are not how I want to express myself. A play on proportions and volume on the other hand, is the work of an architect. Since I don’t build houses or landscapes, I can at the least build my outfits in silouettes of my choosing.

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My 5 and 2 year old nieces are visiting me. It’s joy, fun and love. There is also a lot of chaos that is unique to having excited tiny humans running around in a new highly stimulating environment. Every book, lamp, container, chest of draws and dog brush is something for them to explore+want. Cartoons, ice cream, toys and trips to the park are the highest currency in their world. There is a lot of screaming and crying centered around “I want it. But I want it. But I want it now.” As an adult observer, I can sit on the sidelines and wonder why they fixate on a want until they get on their parents nerves. This week has held a mirror to my behavior and opened the door to some self reflection. Am I that different from these little kids who are struggling to process their wants ? Giving them guidance on how to move on from a fixation or introduction of delayed gratification are my tasks as an aunt. Do I do that often enough for myself ? Several of my purchases reflect on wants fixated over and acquired, even if its as painfully obvious as my niece crying for ice cream. Have I trained myself enough ? Did I grow up and out of this phase ? Or has it become a matter of budgeting over the years of my lifespan like a mortgage, to buy all the things I want ? Rule of 5 is a fantastic opportunity to work on myself.

{ I moved to a warmer microclimate and can wear true summer clothes. There are no winds from the Bay making me shiver to the bone. My dresses/pants aren’t bunched up between my legs from the wind. A linen closet is my one big sartorial desire currently. }