Feb Resolution : Not a Critic
Art work by Tina Berning.
The Philo collection came out not too long ago. I couldn’t get myself to click on it. Instinct told me that it’s the kind of clothes I like at COS priced at 5,000$ with an unhealthy dose of shopping frenzy around grabbing garments before they sell out. However, I couldn’t resist reading the essays that came after. I rolled my eyes when they awarded the woman who could buy the Philo clothes with self assurance, confidence and quiet dignity. It’s the year 2024. Are we still sold on that correlation between the minimalist aesthetic and innate qualities that aren’t skin deep ? I was definitely triggered and wrote a draft. To polish my draft and go put it out into the world needed energy that I dont have. This is not the fight I want to show up for. Draft deleted.
At the start of the new year, there are essays on shopping less. The “what” and “why” of pursuing less, are known at this point. We all want to protect our planet. None of us are monsters wanting to kill our mother. Unless someone has specific details about “how” they plan to dopamine detox, I don’t need to click on it. Declaring that I will shop less, means nothing at this point without “the how” and an actionable plan. You are likely to read end of the year essays detailing failure to shop less with the “oops, i did it again” tone. So I stayed away.
When the Klien podcast episode on taste came out, there were essays on thinking outside the algorithm. This is a tech problem to me with the solution being a better algorithm with users being given a chance to fine-tune their recommendations. I think about that un-polarizing well-rounded ensemble algorithm more than what I can individually do to beat the current algorithm. If the incentive is not to sell ads by holding attention, we would have solved it by now. All in all, I declare this battle lost unless the Congress intervenes and forces tech to provide pay-to-use-services outside the dopamine loop.
Everyone has turned on capsule wardrobes. We had collectively wanted to find that small subset that helped us get dressed while investing in high quality garments. We wanted to do it for our planet and to tackle consumerism. Strange enough, my reading feed is filled with declarations of capsules unattainable and trends as cultural exploration, like the ecological crisis has been solved and we can revert back to our regular programming. What happened ? Again, gonna mind my business and not get riled up.
There are fashion ideas to explore. I am curious about the phenomenon of Tibi. But I know what comes out of this exploration : more clothes. I don’t need style help ( i think). I am happy with derivative fashion that reaches the masses ( me ). I am happy being on the tail end of the trend cycles. I am happy to try new things after enough folk have unloaded them into the second hand market. I cant confuse myself with women of a certain leisure class who can explore brands and buy clothes as inspiration happens. Enough ideas seem to find me in my hiding holes and inspire me. So I wont go seeking them in the fashion world that constantly pushes consumption on us.
Progressive fashion is something I have to talk myself into. Sneakers are a blessing, compared to ballet flats i usually wear, which were progressive in relation to heels I once quit. Biking in skinny raw denim Vs curved wide leg denim, makes me wonder what made me scrub myself with the sand-paper-esque pants in the past … As I shed my skinny clothes, I am getting to experiment with volume. This one area of exploration is enough growth and as much consumerism as I can currently handle. More inspiration, will only lead to diminishing returns for me.
Not every itch needs to be scratched.
“We dont need to get into it”. “I don’t need to know this. I wont click on it”. “This is a potential trigger. Do I want to dive in?” “I dont need to know about this sale.” “I dont need to know about those popular shoes.” Subtract.
Not wanting to participate in cultural discourse, is self preservation for me. I can go down rabbit holes in a quest to learn more on the topics I want to comment upon. It’s time stolen and energy drained. I have chosen the battles that I want to fight. I can support arguments in my chosen field with citations and more-than-101-for-dummies knowledge. I have to choose conservation of my energy over showing up to every fight screaming. Fashion theory/critique is outside my pay grade. I am clearly defining my personal style goals :
Clothes by themselves are not an end, but the means to an end (for me). I dont work/create value in fashion industry. I am an end point in the top-down manner in which taste travels. A consumer, not a creator, not an influencer, not someone with social capital to seer the course. I cant use fashion as my primary creative outlet. I cant buy clothes every time I am inspired and confuse styling with creativity. I cant live in the endless consumption loop.
My goal is to find something to wear and to wear it till it dies. It is the only measurable metric that matters to me. Visual metrics like uniqueness, interesting, flattering, newness, class-derivative-classic-ness, instagram-able, status-emulation, … are not the optimizations I want to maximize. Joy from wear, is the next big metric that matters. Instead of raising the bar on what we need to be happy, I want to lower it. Learn from dogs and children. They want to be happy and will find a way given the circumstances. Adult humans on the other hand can become rigid and only be happy if certain not-so-necessary conditions are met.
Culture on the internet, takes up mental bandwidth. Wasn’t uniform dressing supposed to save me from this expenditure ?
Finding something to adore and wear, needn’t be complicated. It doesn’t matter if an algorithm helped me find it or a human or a culture or a sub culture or royalty or the military or an editor or a designer or an artist or my dog or a blogger or a friend. It doesnt matter if it’s inspired by Jane Birkin or Kim Kardashian or Lemaire or Margiela. My younger self would cringe at this lack of need to buy unique stuff filtered through the lens of intellectual heroism. My current self doesn’t think buying unique stuff makes me unique.
Authenticity in personal style, can be achieved in time by wearing the same clothes for a long time.
“It’s everywhere”. “It’s so over done”. “Everyone and their mother now wears it”. … These words meant as gentle insults slide off me. As long as I wear my clothes into the ground, I don’t care about what you think of my clothes. I wear what I like and insulate my joys from the world to the best of my abilities. Ignoring the noise is essential to enjoy the signal.
When I am inspired by the real world outside the algorithm, I still try not get carried away by it. I am currently inspired by the act of walking and the philosophy surrounding it. It’s reflecting in my large wish list of sneakers and hunt for coffee shops along my urban walks. Inspiration translating not into creating (photographs / writing / cooking / knowledge / empathy for the other / deep curiosity ), but primarily into buying clothes, is not alright.
Less exposure to the fashion world, is sustainable fashion in my case. I am no monk who can walk into a mall to see all the stuff she doesn’t need to be happy. I will want that stuff and will have to spend mental resources containing that want.
Indulgence is about excess; pleasure is about savoring what you have. Be the woman who lives in her worn-in clothes, not the woman who can critique everyone else. This year, I practice calming my mind.
I drove 7hrs from LA back home to Northern California and took several notes for a newsletter I thought I’d write until I saw a quote from your letter on my feed. Here’s what I noted: (1) If you like music, there’s no expectation to be a musician or to understand music theory, but if you like clothes, there’s some idea that you have expertise in it, just because you dress yourself. This obsession undervalues actual studied expertise. (2) the obsession with finding personal style instead of finding clothes you like can affect one’s self-image.
There are more notes, but I won’t belabor you with it since you’ve outlined everything I wished to say. I, too, feel exhausted by the constant feedback loop from everyone about clothes. What a solid newsletter! You have a new subscriber.
"My current self doesn’t think buying unique stuff makes me unique." >>> This. Last year, there was a moment when I thought about what item of clothing was on top on my wishlist, and I felt slightly sheepish that it was a Uniqlo U jacket, because it seemed so "basic". The minute that thought entered my mind, I knew I had spent too much on the internet and I was letting all this personal style talk get to me. Things are just things, and in the end, they all cost the earth something to make them. I was assigning too much value to some things and not paying attention to what it costs others. I think that realisation really helped me let go of some of the desire to own more things.