I drove 7hrs from LA back home to Northern California and took several notes for a newsletter I thought I’d write until I saw a quote from your letter on my feed. Here’s what I noted: (1) If you like music, there’s no expectation to be a musician or to understand music theory, but if you like clothes, there’s some idea that you have expertise in it, just because you dress yourself. This obsession undervalues actual studied expertise. (2) the obsession with finding personal style instead of finding clothes you like can affect one’s self-image.
There are more notes, but I won’t belabor you with it since you’ve outlined everything I wished to say. I, too, feel exhausted by the constant feedback loop from everyone about clothes. What a solid newsletter! You have a new subscriber.
I was stunned when I saw a notification that I got paid. Never happened to me from a blog post I wrote, ever, in the history of ever. So thank you so much for making my day/month/year. Although, I must confess : there is no need to. I only put posts that I am embarrassed for TMI, behind the paywall. There isn't value hiding out there.
The analogies you write, do a better job communicating what I intended to say. So please do write, to help me ( &us ) think better about demarcating joy from our clothes & the wandering mind.
"My current self doesn’t think buying unique stuff makes me unique." >>> This. Last year, there was a moment when I thought about what item of clothing was on top on my wishlist, and I felt slightly sheepish that it was a Uniqlo U jacket, because it seemed so "basic". The minute that thought entered my mind, I knew I had spent too much on the internet and I was letting all this personal style talk get to me. Things are just things, and in the end, they all cost the earth something to make them. I was assigning too much value to some things and not paying attention to what it costs others. I think that realisation really helped me let go of some of the desire to own more things.
A coffee shop conversation I was having with a girlfriend : "Can you tell how much time she spends online by the outfit?" when we saw someone wear the Sambas with B-side denim with some other recognizable garments. Maybe we are being silly-judgy but too much time on fashion internet venues seems to show even in the tech heavy Bay Area fashion street style.
While I have never succeeded at tapering my consumerism by much in the past, I am exploring if time spend online is a culprit. I am on an instagram fast to see if it helps. Will report back soon.
Yes, yes, and yes. I especially resonate with 1, 2, 5, and 8. To buy fewer clothes, I find I simply have to stop spending so much time thinking about clothes. Whether browsing online or following people on Instagram whose focus is style (even if they do not take brand deals, or focus on thrifting!) just feeds the want monster for me. I just decided to stop tracking my clothing wears too, because I feel like the best marker of a “good” buy is, as you say, wearing it into the ground. Tracking wears, in a weird way, justifies excess for me (though it was enlightening to do for a while).
All that being said, I’ve had some upheaval in my life and genuinely needed some new items for my new situation, but I’ve been struggling to turn off the “want”—I’ve definitely made a couple purchases that weren’t strictly needed or the result of long-term decision making. Stress and anxiety were also factors. I don’t know what point I’m trying to make. I feel like I’m making progress on the journey to less consumerism, but still have a ways to go I guess. Consumerism is also so normalized in our culture. It feels like swimming against the current.
Also, lastly, fashion-y pictures just look so shallow to me now. When I think of the coolest stylish people I admire, they all have a sense of style but it is imbued with “coolness” from who they are and their accomplishments. Like you say, I can’t dress myself into coolness or uniqueness or being interesting. You gotta just be it.
My wardrobe had to change too. I went up a size or two. It was painful to sell away my decade old beloved leather jacket & winter coats. I purchased 6 same tshirts from Uniqlo last year to have something to wear while I figure out my new body shape. I was in a comfortable stasis prior to this phase and all this figuring out thrust me back into the markets I am trying to stay away from. I suppose its inevitable ? I havent been tracking my clothing wear too, since this transition has been confusing. Anything I pull out for not wearing, is getting culled for being the wrong size. Lets see where this goes. So confusing !
#1 resonates a TON. The narrative that styling = creativity permeates social media, and it’s exhausting! It paints a one-dimensional picture of creativity.
I fell into the “consumption loop” last year, mostly because I spent too much time online. I recently limited my time online with the help of a screen time app, and it’s like a weight is lifted—I feel like I have more headspace to pursue creative activities that better align with my values.
“I can’t use fashion as my primary creative outlet” is an affirmation I’m going to be repeating to myself whenever I feel close to falling back into that consumption loop. Thank you.
I drove 7hrs from LA back home to Northern California and took several notes for a newsletter I thought I’d write until I saw a quote from your letter on my feed. Here’s what I noted: (1) If you like music, there’s no expectation to be a musician or to understand music theory, but if you like clothes, there’s some idea that you have expertise in it, just because you dress yourself. This obsession undervalues actual studied expertise. (2) the obsession with finding personal style instead of finding clothes you like can affect one’s self-image.
There are more notes, but I won’t belabor you with it since you’ve outlined everything I wished to say. I, too, feel exhausted by the constant feedback loop from everyone about clothes. What a solid newsletter! You have a new subscriber.
I was stunned when I saw a notification that I got paid. Never happened to me from a blog post I wrote, ever, in the history of ever. So thank you so much for making my day/month/year. Although, I must confess : there is no need to. I only put posts that I am embarrassed for TMI, behind the paywall. There isn't value hiding out there.
The analogies you write, do a better job communicating what I intended to say. So please do write, to help me ( &us ) think better about demarcating joy from our clothes & the wandering mind.
"My current self doesn’t think buying unique stuff makes me unique." >>> This. Last year, there was a moment when I thought about what item of clothing was on top on my wishlist, and I felt slightly sheepish that it was a Uniqlo U jacket, because it seemed so "basic". The minute that thought entered my mind, I knew I had spent too much on the internet and I was letting all this personal style talk get to me. Things are just things, and in the end, they all cost the earth something to make them. I was assigning too much value to some things and not paying attention to what it costs others. I think that realisation really helped me let go of some of the desire to own more things.
A coffee shop conversation I was having with a girlfriend : "Can you tell how much time she spends online by the outfit?" when we saw someone wear the Sambas with B-side denim with some other recognizable garments. Maybe we are being silly-judgy but too much time on fashion internet venues seems to show even in the tech heavy Bay Area fashion street style.
While I have never succeeded at tapering my consumerism by much in the past, I am exploring if time spend online is a culprit. I am on an instagram fast to see if it helps. Will report back soon.
Yes, yes, and yes. I especially resonate with 1, 2, 5, and 8. To buy fewer clothes, I find I simply have to stop spending so much time thinking about clothes. Whether browsing online or following people on Instagram whose focus is style (even if they do not take brand deals, or focus on thrifting!) just feeds the want monster for me. I just decided to stop tracking my clothing wears too, because I feel like the best marker of a “good” buy is, as you say, wearing it into the ground. Tracking wears, in a weird way, justifies excess for me (though it was enlightening to do for a while).
All that being said, I’ve had some upheaval in my life and genuinely needed some new items for my new situation, but I’ve been struggling to turn off the “want”—I’ve definitely made a couple purchases that weren’t strictly needed or the result of long-term decision making. Stress and anxiety were also factors. I don’t know what point I’m trying to make. I feel like I’m making progress on the journey to less consumerism, but still have a ways to go I guess. Consumerism is also so normalized in our culture. It feels like swimming against the current.
Also, lastly, fashion-y pictures just look so shallow to me now. When I think of the coolest stylish people I admire, they all have a sense of style but it is imbued with “coolness” from who they are and their accomplishments. Like you say, I can’t dress myself into coolness or uniqueness or being interesting. You gotta just be it.
Thank you for sharing Alicia.
My wardrobe had to change too. I went up a size or two. It was painful to sell away my decade old beloved leather jacket & winter coats. I purchased 6 same tshirts from Uniqlo last year to have something to wear while I figure out my new body shape. I was in a comfortable stasis prior to this phase and all this figuring out thrust me back into the markets I am trying to stay away from. I suppose its inevitable ? I havent been tracking my clothing wear too, since this transition has been confusing. Anything I pull out for not wearing, is getting culled for being the wrong size. Lets see where this goes. So confusing !
#1 resonates a TON. The narrative that styling = creativity permeates social media, and it’s exhausting! It paints a one-dimensional picture of creativity.
I fell into the “consumption loop” last year, mostly because I spent too much time online. I recently limited my time online with the help of a screen time app, and it’s like a weight is lifted—I feel like I have more headspace to pursue creative activities that better align with my values.
“I can’t use fashion as my primary creative outlet” is an affirmation I’m going to be repeating to myself whenever I feel close to falling back into that consumption loop. Thank you.
This was an awesome read, thank you! I am adding a 10. Enough is enough and printing as a Decalogue on my wardrobe door. 🫶
This was a great read!