April Resolution : Rule of 5
Spring maybe a great time to start a new years resolution. There is renewal and regeneration all around. ( The dread of mid-winter when trees are bare & mood is influenced by lack of sunlight + cold bones is not my choice of prime time to start something challenging. ) If Winter is the middle of the night, Spring is the sunrise. April also hosts my birthday. I feel a sense of a year gone by deep in my bones. A sense of renewal kicks in just because I got to eat cake with friends. The blooms from our ceanothus, de la mina verbena, pink jasmine & Japanese cherry blossom were the real birthday present I truly wanted. We worked 2 long years to plant this garden. It took 6 years and teamwork across tenancy of the land to repair the soil. 2 years worth of winter storms to get us out of the water deficit. Handfuls of mycorrhiza gifted by friends at native plant society and oak leaf litter gathered from my hikes, went into the understory. We treated it like a habitat restoration project, not recreational garden design. Root depths were considered to balance competition for nutrients in the soil for long term chance of survival. Winter food for the pollinators were prioritized over spring/summer blooms for the human eyes. This is our way of returning some land back to the natives. Every single plant made it and is in bloom. The land is buzzing with insects, mushrooms and birds. We also indulged in some gorilla seed sprinkling along the roadside along our walks. ( Rumor has it that the Spanish Missionaries who first colonized California would sprinkle mustard seeds along the trails they paved. The yellow flowers were meant to lead you to the path of salvation. Hundred years later, we now have a big invasive species problem. Death to Black Mustard ! Go Native ! ) My puppy’s walking path is a now a California poppy wild flower trail in bloom. A true spring indeed !
Let me use the wait time for the next spring bloom to take on a challenge : The Rule of 5. I wasn’t ready on January 1st. You don’t wake up on the New Years Eve and start running a marathon. You plan and train for months before you even sign up for the race. You remake your identity as a runner who enjoys it, if you want to continue running after the race day. Shopping as a habit is no different. I needed to learn some neuroscience on dopamine, dopamine sickness and log myself out of Instagram first. Only then could I calm down, think, plot and plan. Else, there was too little understanding of the problem, too much reliance on motivation that ebbs and wanes, too much consumption of inspiration, too many influencers broadcasting shopping lists, too many big denim shapes of interest and too many wish lists swirling around in my head. Living in that highly stimulated virtual environment and expecting a calm state of mind that can take on anti-consumerist challenges, was asking too much of myself. I wont set myself up for failure. The last few months helped me prepare. Let’s solve this problem.
THE WHAT
On earth day, I do not want to read blog posts about tote bags or plastic straws from grown adults. Leave the little plastic wrapper activism to the young kids who cant vote on policy yet & have no say in the lifestyle choices of their parents. We the woman bloggers, seem to spend disproportionate amount of effort talking about ~5 percentile harms while being oblivious to the 90 percentile harms. Tiny climate hacks rooted in domestic labor is not all we are capable of. Lets learn about climate solutions from the IPCC reports, join a local Org and move the needle. With this disclaimer out of the way, allow me to talk about a personal optimization I am working towards : my fashion consumption.
Behavior change is hard, esply when it comes to subtractive solutions. Buy XYZ for climate sells better than don’t buy X, Y & Z since they are excessive. However, behavior change is made easier when culture reaches a tipping point. I found a subculture I want to be a part of. A group of women have joined forces to answer the climate call in the fashion sector. The Rule of 5 is a pledge to try to get through a year with buying less than five garments a year. This is the group I will be leaning into for support, since I am not likely to succeed in isolation.
Read more : The Rule of 5
THE WHY : AUTHENTIC PERSONAL STYLE
For the sake of not being a hyper consumer during an ecological crisis ofcourse! But there are personal reasons assuming I don’t care about any one outside myself.
To save money.
“Greed breeds a perpetual sense of inadequacy, erodes integrity and values, and robs one of the opportunities for genuine fulfillment and happiness.”, writes Jen Hitz of 5 big ideas. Agree.
After learning that Princess Diana had an eating disorder, I found it unethical to pin her photos in my style boards. In my book, I have “no right” to brag about my outfits or talk fashion shop, while unethically consuming clothes.
When your standard of living is high, you will find fewer simple pleasures pleasurable.
My most worn clothes in 2023 were the 30 garments I purchased in that year. Going by the past, I am on track to buy another 30 garments this year to pair with 2023 purchases and ignore the 2022 purchases. In 2025, I am on track to declutter what was purchased in 2020 because they have been ignored for too long. If I dont declutter, I would be hoarding them, probably wearing them once a year and patting myself online for wearing my old clothes. This is all … ick ! Not buying 30 garments this year, will definitely break this pattern.
I am interested in style journeys and ootds that have growth and time complexity.
I really like myself in my oldest faded worn-in clothes.
I have very little drive to address my repair pile.
Writing it down, helps me think better.
THE HOW : Control the inputs, not the outcome.
I have tried shopping fasts several times over the past years. They were akin to starvation to loose weight. All it did was make me hungry and binge eat after the fast expired. It made me hyper-focus on food during the fast. Behavior change, not a flash diet. This time around, I want to tackle the root causes and build habits that result in less shopping. The point of this is reformation, not a temporary shock to the system.
Define distraction.
If you asked me last year to get off instagram and rethink influencers, I would have said I don’t want to. I dont need to. There is no correlation and they are not the problem. I was enjoying myself too much. I overstated the benefits and the losses were willfully not recognized. Distraction is distraction only if you know what it is distracting you from. ( My goals. ) I didn’t think of certain fashion content as noise back then. It was the signal, never noise, given my interest in clothes. Women opening up their closets and their innermost thoughts about clothes they wear, felt like a privilege to peek into. The feeling of wanting and procuring, fit in my with ideal of moving upward in life and achieving what you set your mind to. Today, achieving is tied to other aspects of living, not acquiring more stuff. If you ask me now, the signal is sustainable living and joy from craft of use. Being hyper-stimulated by clothes and media content surrounding it, is noise. This is the problem we are trying to solve for.
The Scroll
I was off Instagram during Feb & March. Libby, kindle and audible are what I replaced my scroll with. iPhone has a grayscale mode that I use 24*7 to make the device unattractive. Our devices aren’t supposed to be shopping malls. All these measures are helping. My screen time bottomed out.
The Real Real
I have enough Fear of Missing Out, to get off it. Every fabulous thing I own bought on a scale of affordable, is from TRR. I treasure hunt in there. Now that Instagram has been addressed, my TRR fast has started. I now have enlisted my husband to help me hide the password. I am completely off it for 6 months. If I miss out, I have to make my peace with it. All the money saved, would be good for my family. Not making returns, will save me time. I must do this.
{ 7 days in : I feel the void in its place but also a sense of calm. I assumed I will be agitated and itching to scroll something. Instead, I am in a restful state. Will this last ? What comes next ? I dont know.
12 days in : I still feel a sense of calm but it’s now coupled with fear of missing out on the treasure hunt. “Excess clothing at great price is not a treasure”, is what I chant to myself when I miss seeing the clothes. }
Vipassana :
To not fixate on a want, is a skill that needs to be learnt. Our minds aren’t born equipped with this skill. Vipassana meditation cultivates it. Mindfulness addresses it. This year, I am committing to 15 minutes of vipassana per day.
Consumption of inspiration
To clean my feed, I ask this question : “Are the visuals of her style a materialistic value or an artistic value?” What artistic value does her style stand for ? Is there community development and personality development ? Or is it a matter of clothes paired together from a large large stream of garments. Does she have a McCloset full of things to style from ? Am I being entertained ?
Angharad Jones and Lizzy Hadfield are the only professional influencers I have kept on in my feed. Their outfit choices help me think about proportions, color, fit and styling. I will continue to let them sample the industry for me. Treat them like I would a magazine, not my peer.
Update my spreadsheet
Gratitude, is the missing link. In the years when I diligently updated my wears-per-garment spreadsheet everyday, I consumed less. The focus went into distributing wear across everything I own. The love of clothes, was projected inwards into my existing closet. Not outwards towards the stores. I made an effort to wear every garment during a calendar year. It felt like there were plenty of clothes waiting to be worn during the season, waiting their turn. There was gratitude for what I had. Is it really that easy to change my focus, I wondered. Then, I declared myself reformed and quit updating my journal. The problem has resurfaced. When I have a true and tried solution, I shouldn’t abandon it.
Control the outcome too : Rule of 10
Going from casually buying 30 garments in the previous year to 5 garments, is a lifestyle overhaul. Try, one must.
Internal monologues
“The restlessness is surfacing again. It will pass”.
“It’s only for a year. I am not committing to forever. If I am miserable doing this recovery, I am still free to go back to my old consumerist ways next year. They wont put me in jail for ecocide.”
“It is alright. I will make a note and buy it next year. Or the next. I needn’t buy everything this year. Leave something for next year to aspire to acquire. ”
“Years have been going by so quickly.”
“Her clothes are stunning. She is stunning. Let her go. Dont go digging for what she is wearing. Conserve your energy for your own work. She used her energy for her work. ”
“I don’t know where to browse. Oh RealReal ! “
“I don’t want to use up my budget of 5. Not for this garment.”
“Put on those lovely sneakers and go for a 10 min walk. Honor the quality and craftsmanship in their making by walking everywhere.“
“I will get a dopamine hit if I buy this garment. I will get the same dopamine hit if I go for a walk right now”
Saw a post with title “N things to buy for the house in spring”. My house is full. My closet is full. My mind is needed elsewhere. I can only do one thing well at a time. I have the opposite of ADHD. Leave me alone.
Saw a post “10 must haves to buy this spring” : so you think you know what I need huh ? Followed my anger. GOMI.
Love this post - and can very much relate, as someone who has long struggled to square hyper-consumerist habits with my desire for a slow, enduring wardrobe. I am also on the Rule of 5(10) train this year and wish you well with your journey!
I am struck by this relationship between consumption and distraction. I feel like it is so easy to welcome distraction (and seek comfort in it) in these current times with financial, societal, environmental insecurity abound. It’s like we need small, inconsequential things to fuss over (e.g., finding the best tank top for under $50) keep us from losing our minds over larger problems that feel so out of our control.
While we may not be able to tackle the wicked problems on an individual level, I believe that the anecdote to mindless distraction is finding a worthwhile project to redirect your focus. Something meaningful to sow pent-up creative energy into. Something to work on and nurture, in hopes that it will tip the scales ever-so-slightly towards a future worth believing in. Like your garden, which you’ve so lovingly described.
At the moment, I'm too tuned in to my project (raising my child) to care much about clothes shopping, though temptation is always close by. But I know I will always value personal style and admire the art behind beautiful garments. I'm still figuring out a realistic approach to enjoying these pleasures - where I can responsibly indulge without losing too much of my attention and resources to them.
I feel so peaceful and happy just visualising your garden, what a remarkable thing to have created! Ever since your last post about walking, I have been trying to practice what I learnt about mindfulness in small moments in my everyday routine, from walking to having my morning coffee -- no phone, no earphones tuned to a podcast, no laptop, no magazines. It's too soon to say whether it's making a true difference to how I sit with myself but I enjoy the effort.
With April coming to an end, I'm starting to draft my own reflections on the first fourth months of trying to seriously do the rule of 5 challenge, and it was truly not without its ups and downs...I feel a lot of the internal struggle you described in this post. I think this year still went better than last year though, which I embarked on on impulse -- this year I feel more in control and confident. It's definitely smart to plan and prepare yourself mentally and I hope it's a rewarding experience for you!